Hump Day Happenings

· Et tu Brute?

· Please note that if your Bluetooth headset is not working properly and won’t enable/pair with your cell phone, you should probably charge the device to see if that’s the problem.

· It took me 2 days to figure this out.

· If someone wants to do me bodily harm in my own house, just do it in the morning while I’m in the shower and everyone else is asleep. This morning the shower door straight slammed off the track and made a huge crashing noise, and not one person woke up to see what happened.

· Because of that lil’ incident, I have taken some ibuprofen and now have ice on my foot. Ouch!

· I have on a pair of gray chevron tights and they itch my legs something terrible. Even when I turned them inside out.

· How can it be that on a Federal holiday when traffic is supposed to be lighter, the Parkway was moving at a snails pace? Even the traffic reporter on the radio was in confusement.

· Blame it on the rain.

· I never knew that pawning library books was the new hustle. Read this. Straight madness.

· Smoked jalapeño almonds are DELICIOUS!

· Dear Sammy Sosa: Love the skin you’re in. With Love, Lisa

I HATE TRAFFIC!

My Dear Fellow BW Parkway Commuters:

I love the time that we spend together every single day. I really do. But (now listen closely), if you are driving the speed limit – which most of us do because of the volume of folks on the parkway – there is no need to SLAM ON BREAKS WHEN YOU SEE A COP PULLED OVER ON SIDE OF THE ROAD MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS! Cops don’t pull over people who are driving the speed limit. Not unless you have some other VISIBLE thing wrong with your car. And I see you guys everyday…your cars look lovely.

Spoken with love, Lisa

Dear NSA Cop that sits on the side of the road at the NSA exit who doesn’t pull BW Parkway commuters over because he does not have jurisdiction to do so:

Would you mind moving your car up the exit just a few feet so that you are not on the side of the road of the BW Parkway? Pretty please...with whipped cream and a cherry on top? You do realize that commuters see you sitting there AND SLAM ON BREAKS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DOING THE SPEED LIMIT? Because you sit idly where we can see you in plain view, IT CAUSES TRAFFIC SLOW DOWN WHICH CAUSES A TRAFFIC JAM AND ADDS AT LEAST 15 MINUTES TO MY COMMUTE! Did you know that I HATE TRAFFIC!?!?!?

I think you know what you are doing. And honestly, if I knew that the mere sight of my car would cause people to panic unnecessarily and act all weird, I’d probably do that crap too because it is kinda funny. You want us to share in your misery, don't you? I know misery loves company – because you have to be miserable just sitting on the side of the road doing nothing, but I have to get home to get my kids to their 50-11 activities by a certain time. Don’t create fun at my expense. IT’S NOT FUNNY!

Thanks for understanding.

With love and appreciation for the job that you do, Lisa