A Friday Funny

I was just reading a post on the Book of Faces about a little girl who had stuck a bead in her ear at school.  It was surgically removed today.  The mother was perplexed as to why her daughter would do such a thing since she’d never done anything like it before.

I don't have an answer but the post got me to reminiscing'…

Picture it: a small town in MD, circa 1980.  I was a young, precocious lass of about 6 years of age and spending a couple of weeks with my aunt in the summer.  This was a yearly ritual; my mom and dad would pack my brother and me up and take us to my maternal grandmother’s for a few weeks.  During those weeks, we’d go spend time with my aunt and my cousin.  (Side note: my parent’s had it sweet sending us away for upwards of a month in the summer.  Wonder what they were doing? #freechildcare)

 Now my cousin LOVED Legos with every fiber of  his being and we played with them every evening before bed.  Since the boys would always alienate little ole pesky me, I was often left to build my own empire out of the colorful little blocks all by my lonesome.  

One particular evening, I saw a small green block that was calling my name.  I picked it up, examined it closer and…stuck it clear (and far) up my right nostril.

I quickly realized that I couldn’t get the thing out.  Too far up to pick it out with my fingers.  So I closed my mouth and the free nostril with my finger and blew hard to try and let the force of the wind behind the blow dislodge the block from my nose.  Did this for what seemed to be a lifetime and…

No dice.

I sheepishly went to my aunt for help and she, without any judgment, worked and worked and worked to get it out of my nose while I'm sure she was trying to contain her laughter. A little bit of tweezer work and a few more hard blows and the thing was out.  Crisis averted, no hospital visit needed.

Please don’t ask me why I would do such a thing.  Attention maybe? I don’t know. But thinking back on it today, I sure did get a good chuckle.

Kids do the darnest things, I tell ya.

Have you ever done anything silly like that as a child?  Let me know about it.

Love Day Randoms

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!

If you don’t know by now, I love LOVE and everything about it so naturally, I love this day.

I’m cool if folks think this day is silly.  

But if we can exchange gifts in the spirit of giving for Christmas and in celebration of our birthdays…

…What’s the harm in exchanging gifts to show appreciation and celebrate the people we love today?

I celebrate this day, relationship status be damned. *shrugs*

Spread love today and every day.

1 Corinthians 13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

P.S. – I am behind on my #FEBPHOTOADAY and I will be catching up tonight.  I took the pictures but didn’t upload from my memory card.

Tag, Im It!

I love my friends, I do.  But some of them can be downright disrespectful at times.  Can you believe that my dear friend posted this comment on my November 2011 blog post:

Tumbleweeds?  Really?  How rude! LOL

If anything can get me back to blogging though, it’s a request from a friend. 

So, here goes…

The Rules for Tagged:

1. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
3. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. Go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.

11 Random Things About Lisa is for Love:

1.       I tell everyone that I’m 5’10” but I’m really only  5’9-1/2”

2.       I took ballet, tap and jazz for more than 10 years and always dreamt of being a professional dancer. 

3.       Although I have owned several cars since I was 16 years old, I have never purchased one with my own money .  And to be clear, none were purchased by a “Sugar Daddy” either.  LOL

4.       I was a bus patrol captain in elementary school and actually went to camp for it.

5.       Contrary to popular belief, I’m really not any good at playing basketball.

6.       I will be an empty-nester by the age of 40.

7.       If it glitters, shines or sparkles chances are, I’m going to love it.

8.       Same goes with heart-shaped things.

9.       My favorite color is yellow but I don’t own any yellow clothing

10.   I only own 4 pairs of flat shoes, not including boots.

11.   I really want to learn ASL

My questions from i.choose.the.sun:

1. What is your dream job?
• I have been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of months.  I don’t know what it is specifically (working on that) but it will definitely be in the humanities field.  Think Psychology, Counseling, Awareness type stuff.
2. Why do you blog?
• Because I like to have an outlet to express myself.
3. Are you most like Pooh, Tigger or Piglet?
• Definitely Pooh
4. What would you tell your 18 yo self?
• That you should please people in the following order: God, yourself, then others.  That being meek isn’t a negative quality and it doesn’t equate to being a doormat.  Also, and most importantly, you teach people how to treat you.
5. What vacation destination are you most looking forward to?
• The destination that will include my husband.  Hopefully it’ll be some place tropical.
6. How often do you wear make-up?
• Just about daily although it’s not what most would call a “full face”
7. At what time of the day were you born?
• I don’t know and I keep forgetting to look.
8. Do you commute to work? If so, do you carpool, drive, walk or use transit?
• Yes, I commute to work by driving.  I would love to have the option of carpooling or using public transit occasionally though.
9. Would you rather be hot or cold?
• Neither.  But for the sake of this tag, I’d rather be hot with access to AC, of course.
10. How do you feel about being “tagged”?
• I’m happy to have been tagged.

My 11 questions to the persons that I tag:

1.       How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What is your favorite time of the day?

2.       What is the one luxury item that you dream of having?  And if you already have it, what is it?

3.       If you could only wear one complete outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

4.       If you could only choose 5 food items to eat for the rest of your life, what would they be?

5.       Do you hang your toilet paper roll over or under?

6.       If you had a million dollars to give away, who would receive? 

7.       How old were you when you got your driver’s license?

8.       Do you know how to swim?

9.       What are your top 5 favorite movies?

10.   At what age did you move away from home?

11.   When’s the last time you mailed a letter?

Tag, you’re it!

Seriously, YOU (yes, you) are "it" too.  If you are reading this post and want to play along, by all means do so.

You Are Such a Pretty Girl

A Hidden Gem

Fabulous Boobies

A Daily Dose of Delight

The Ex Files: Password Protection

I have had plenty of opportunity to think about my last relationship.  I’m not regretting or wishing things were different, mind you; I’ve just been pondering, learning and growing.

When you’ve been in a relationship like I was that lasted over 4 years, you begin to do certain things.  Unbeknownst to the ex, one of the things I did was use characters, words and numbers that were related to him (and the two of us) as passwords for various accounts like voicemail, online banking, websites, etc. 

It dawned on me when the relationship ended that I would need to change that but I never took action.  Those passwords are embedded in my memory.  Who wants to go through the hassle of finding out how to change them and then commit the new ones to memory?  Add to the fact that you have to have alpha and numeric characters, symbols and such and well…I just kept them the same because I didn’t want to deal with the process.

Until today.

Even though I have moved on and am quite happy, those small reminders – even the ones as simple as “96391” – are a hindrance to what is in store for me.  And I’m too excited about my future to be stifled by alpha-numeric characters that are associated with my past.

So today I took the time to start changing my passwords and I’ve felt a bit more free because of it.

Sometimes, the small things DO matter. :-)

Dating Follies: Date #2 with DandD

So yeah, after that craziness from date #1 with DandD, I went out with him again.

Why on earth would I do such a thing?

Necessity met opportunity.  I had free tickets to an event and my girlfriend couldn’t go at the very last minute.  DandD happened to call and ask if I wanted to go out that night.  Seeing as how I really had to use that other ticket (not using it would prevent me from getting future free tickets), I invited him to go along.  

We went to a concert so there was little need for communication, except for the ride to and from the venue.  I still couldn’t get the dine-and-dash incident out of my mind and would have taken the opportunity to address it during the ride, but I found out some other gems instead.

More deal-breakers:

·        He has children.  No big deal, most men in their 40’s do.  But he has no problems introducing his potentials to them and the rest of his family early on.  I can’t get with that.  At.all. He mentioned in casual conversation that in his last relationship, his girlfriend had been over his house, kicked it with the kids and they had met each other’s family.  That all happened within a month of casual dating.  Did I mention that he wanted to introduce me to his daughter on date #2?  No sir!

·        Although he loves seafood, that’s about as far as his food palette will take him.  I like all kinds of food and I can’t be limited to ordering a dozen of jumbo crabs and frequenting the local franchise restaurants.  There’s nothing wrong with that, mind you, but as a Foodie, learning that information made me sad.

·        He was bothered that men were looking at me.  While I won’t admit to being a beauty queen, I do believe I do alright in the looks department.  And when I go out, especially this particular venue, I dress nice.  And while I’m not that chick that goes grocery shopping in a freakum dress and heels, I do enjoy dressing up.  I’m tall, I wear heels; folks are going to notice me regardless.  I think it’s a weak move to lean in to my ear during the concert and say, “Do you realize that men be looking at you?”  Really?  If I’m out with a gentleman, I’m out with him.  I don’t make it a practice to draw attention to myself or to check out other men.  My focus is on getting where I’m going and having a good time with my date.  He mentioned this in the car too.

There has not been and will never be a date #3.  I refuse to waist his time (and money) knowing that there are fundamental things that I can't deal with.

Dating Follies: Deal Breakers, Dining and Dashing

Deal-breakers. 

What are the immediate ones that come to my mind when dating, you ask?  

You can’t be married, separated or ‘have a situation’; you can’t be bi-s.exual or have had any type of s.exual relationship or encounter with another man; you need to be self-sufficient and employed; you need NOT want any [more] children; you need to be respectful and polite; you need to have a car and if not, a good reason as to why not; if you have a kid, you HAVE to pay child support and be (or make every effort to be) an active parent; you must like food (more on that later); you need to be pleasing to MY eyes and be presentable; you have to be up on your current events, be able to hold a decent conversation and communicate well in written form. And oh my goodness, you need NOT be a girly-man.  You can be handsome but not pretty and petite.  You should at least be my height and not be intimidated by my love for 4” heels.  Asking too much?  If you think yes then, oh well because those criteria need to be met to get us to a first date.

But there are certain deal breakers that you may not know of until you’ve happened upon a situation.

Like, such as (shout out to South Carolina’s 2007 Miss Teen USA contestant)…

I met a fellow a few weeks ago.  Let’s call him DandD.  We communicate via phone and text (side-eye to excessive texting, by the way) and agree to meet for an appetizer to watch a bball game since our conversations had precluded him from being on the deal-breaker list.  Upon meeting at the local wing spot, we decide it’s nice enough to dine outside and watch the game on one of the 2 flat screens.  Side note: DandD had on a baseball cap that I was hoping he’d remove but because we ate outside, he kept it on.  I wanted to see his bald dome but it didn’t happen that night.

We seat ourselves and enter: our waitress.  Lovely young lady who felt quite embarrassed to ask for a credit card prior to us ordering the obligatory water. It was restaurant policy to prevent folks from leaving without paying for the food.  We totally understood and DandD handed over a card.

I don’t know why – I’ll attribute it to intuition – I continued the conversation of eating a meal and skipping on the bill (otherwise known as the ‘Dine and Dash’) but continue, I did.  I asked DandD had he ever done such a thing.

“Why, yes I have,” he replied. And he laughed.

With a nervous smile, I immediately asked him when did he do that and he said it was years ago in high school.  Ok…I can get with that…although I’ve never done such a thing; I realize people do silly things in their youth.  Crisis averted. 

“Oh, and I did it once with my son a few years back,” he proclaims with a big, cheesy grin like it’s something to be proud about.

“Wait, what!?!?” I say.

DandD goes on to explain that he and his son went out for their birthday at a well-known chain restaurant that specializes in ribs.  The birthday promotion of said establishment is that if you have a certain name, you get your entree for free.  DandD and his son share that certain name and their birthday is a mere day apart so the bday special applies to them.  They proceed to order the most expensive entree.  After they've eaten like pigs (his words, not mine) the check comes and DandD can’t figure out why the total isn’t much lower than anticipated.  The waitress tells him that the promotion is for a free entree up to a certain amount of money but that anything above that amount is billable.

Waitress leaves and DandD tells the son to get up and exit stage left quickly.  Son questions…father says ‘do as I say AND as I do’…and they jet without paying all the while snickering on how the restaurant got 'got'.

What parent does this…with their child, no less?

Is it just me or is that unbelievable?  A grown man tells (and demonstrates) to his teenaged son how to be a thief.  And laughs about it.  And is bold enough to disclose this information to a person that he has met only once.  Wow!

Upon learning this information I was immediately turned off.  I knew right then that this little meet-up wouldn’t develop into anything.  I was a little upset that I learned this information within minutes of meeting DandD because I couldn’t fully enjoy the lovely evening, my sweet tea or my appetizer.  But I did take comfort in knowing that at least the bill would get paid.

Add Dine and Dash to the list of my deal-breakers.  

But wait, did I tell you that I went out with him again?  Call me crazy a glutton for punishment but, I did.  And that led to several other deal-breakers that I happened upon.

We’ll chat about those later but I can assure you that there hasn’t been a call or a response to a text after date #2 from me.

iCan’t.

What part of the game is this?

Take 1:

Girl meets boy

They talk briefly…they exchange numbers…they both give good phone…smiles and laughs all around…this *could* go somewhere.

An informal meeting is discussed, if there’s time.

There isn’t time.

No biggie.  

Take 2:

Boy calls girl.

They chat.

Again…good phone.

Boy goes out of his way to make arrangements to meet girl the very next day.  He’s been busy but wants to meet…his schedule is flexible…he’s spontaneous…blah blah blah

Cool.

Meeting arranged.  Boy to call and confirm time.

No call…no text…no nothing.

Girl deletes number.

Is this what’s hot in the streets on the dating scene?