August Hair Update: One Year Later and Length Check!

August 1^st has come and gone but I want to acknowledge that it has been 1 year since I did, what I consider to be, my big chop.

Last year in the Spring I began flat ironing my hair more and more frequently.  As a result, I got heat damage.  Tired of the straight ends, I went to the local chop shop and had her cut about 4 inches of hair off.  I had about 4-5 inches remaining.  I wrote about it here.

Although I vowed not to use any heat on my hair for a year, I broke that promise and used a blow dryer several times.  I also flat ironed once and got a professional cut back in May.

Looking back I can say that this has been the best hair year since I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair in 2008.  My good hair days have certainly outweighed the bad and, judging from people’s compliments, the bad hair days weren’t as bad as I thought.  I stuck with the tried and true twist-out as a styling option, throwing in an occasional ‘fro puff for good measure.  My natural hair confidence has been boosted which means I haven’t cared much about what I used to stress over like curl definition, shrinkage and frizz.

About length…

Length was something that I was obsessed with in the beginning.  Not so much any more.  But I realize that it’s probably good to document hair growth if but only to let you know that you’re caring for your hair properly.  Hair grows [hard stop].  Poorly kept hair breaks off and splits which means you’re not retaining length.  If hair grows (on average) 1/4'’-1/2” a month but you have to get a 1/4”-1/2” trim every 6-8 weeks because of split ends, then you’ll see minimal growth.

And while protective styling is a great method that helps with (maximum) length retention; it’s not necessary.  I've only done one protective style (mini twists) in the last year.  Just keep the ends moisturized and handle them gently and you should be fine.

Although you can see my hair growth from my posted pictures below, I went ahead and grabbed a tape measure to record some stats.  My hair in the front is about 8” and when pulled taut, touches right below my chin; the hair on crown is 10”; hair on the sides right above my ears is about 7” and the hair at the very nape of my neck is just about 5”.  Not too bad, in my opinion.

Parting shots:

July 2010 - My Big Chop

August 2010

September 2010

January 2011

February 2011

April 2011

May 2011 - After Cut/Flat Ironed

July 2011

August 2011 - Blow Out/No Flat Iron

Target and CVS

Yeah, those are Willow Smith’s favorite places to shop.  How "regular person" is that?  LOL

Weekend Show Off: Nic of My Fabulous Boobies

I don’t see myself committing to blogging on the weekends. But what I would like to do is to show off a fellow blogger, an article, a video or picture that has affected me in some way with little (or no) commentary.

This weekend’s spotlight is a person that, I believe, has one of the most beautiful spirits I know. It’s weird for me to say that because I’ve only physically seen this person once in my life and on that occasion, we didn’t share any memorable words. But we're internet friends and have interacted through an online networking group for years.

She’s an inspiration to many and I’m proud to say that my life has been enriched by how she has shared her life with the world through social media.

Read about her life. You’ll be glad you did.

Success

I am a leader and not a follower;

I hang with people who have my solution and not my problem;

I am an achiever and more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus who loves me.

It is in me to prosper;

It is in me to be blessed;

It is in me to excel and transcend the norm.

I am who God says I am;

I can do what God says I can do;

I am the spout where his glory comes out in Jesus’ name,

AMEN

(Author: Elder Rickey Macklin)

A Revelation

Dear God:

First, thanks for seeing fit to allow me to be in the land of the living one more day.

2010 was an odd year. It flew by quickly and as I look back on it, I can’t say it was fabulous. It had its positive and happy moments but it also had a bunch of negatives and sad moments. When I reflect on the year, the things that immediately come to mind are anxiety, sadness, worry and stress. I’m pretty sure I experienced at least one real anxiety attack, epic amounts of stress and if I had had enough courage to go to a doctor, I’m certain I would have been diagnosed with depression. It was a rough year.

But…I made it! And I know for certain it was because of you that I did. I may not have had good sense enough to acknowledge it (or thank you profusely), but it was certainly you that got me through. Of course there were a few key people that you put in my life that I could vent and cry to, but it was you that placed those people in my life. You saw fit to take care of me in spite of myself and it was because of your providence that I have to say that 2010 was ultimately, a blessing. Thank you again!

Now on to 2011…

I’m 3 days in and I must say that some of the stressors and problems that were in 2010 are still with me in the New Year. But that’s OK. You didn’t promise a stressor free life, but you did promise that you’d help:

I Corinthians 10:13 (The Message Bible)

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

Because of your word, I declare:

· I will not allow stressors to dictate my performance at home, at work or in my relationships.

· I will take deliberate steps to reduce and/or eliminate the stressors that are in my life.

· I will CONFRONT all problems and not pretend that they will magically take care of themselves.

· I will be accountable and honor my commitments.

· I will not be anxious, stressed to the limit or allow worry to debilitate me.

· I will continue to remind myself that “No” is a complete sentence.

· I will set goals and work towards accomplishing accomplish them.

· I will not stray from my 2011 plan

These are not my resolutions, but this is my revelation.

God, you know the desires of my heart and I’m going to trust and believe that if I put in the work on the above I won’t have to pray for tangible/material things because that will be the fruit of my labor.

Here’s to a fab New Year!

The best is yet to come…

Amen

Running Towards a Goal

Let me be clear, I am NOT a fan of running. So ask me why I’m going to run my first 5k in November?

Go ahead…ask!

Well, I’m going to run a 5k because I can. Plain and simple. Actually, it’s not really all about the race. This race is a symbol, if you will. I have another goal in mind and I’m conditioning myself and training myself over the next few months so I can reach it. And since running has been known to be a thorn in my side and something I never thought I could do with success, I’m using this race to prove to myself that

I.CAN.DO.ANYTHING!

I’ve been online and read a few beginner running plans and have pretty much taken what they said and modified it a little. My goal is to run the entire race in November and not walk. But if I should walk, the goal is to finish in less than an hour. I know I should just choose one, but in life, sometimes you have to switch gears a bit to reach the ultimate goal.

Right.

So this morning, The Kirk texts me at 5:15AM asking are we running today. My first thought was NO. You see, I have a problem with getting up in the morning when it is pitch black outside. Darkness equates to night in my mind and night means sleep. But I knew better. It’s no time like the present and if I shrugged it off today, I’d certainly shrug it off tomorrow. So I sent him a return text (he’s only upstairs, mind you) and tell him that I’ll be ready in 15 minutes and to wake up The Last , since he wanted to run too.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m still in bed and I get a knock at my door.

“We’re ready”.

*deep sigh*

I tell them I’m coming and hop out of bed, throw on my yoga pants, sports bra, t-shirt and shoes and walk upstairs.

We stretch.

I knew in my mind what my goal was: run/walk – 5 minute warm up, walk briskly for 90 seconds and run for 60 seconds. I didn’t know what my distance would be.

We started. The Last told me to “JUST RUN”. And I quickly let them know that unless they wanted to carry me home, I need to go at my pace to avoid injury and frustration. He then says, “Well when you get tired, just push through it”. Sounds good, in theory, but I had a plan and I didn’t want to deviate from it too much. As long as I reach my goal, I’m good. I told him to go on and I’d catch up at some point. Their goal was to run 1.5 miles to our local convenience store and back – 3 miles. I knew better and figured I’d run/walk about 1.5 miles total.

I start with the walk and quickly nix the idea of walking for 90 seconds. Seemed too long. I start jogging…but, slowly. I do this for one block because it’s too dark to be looking down at my watch and I can’t lose my pace. I don’t know much, but I do know that when you run, pace and rhythm are key. The boys had their iPods. I wasn’t smart enough to remember that so guess what song I ran to in my head: The Bedroom Intruder Song…”he’s climbing in yo windows, he’s snatching yo peepo up…” Thank God for Antoine. LOL

There was only one major snafu on today’s walk/run. Leg itching.

Oh.my.gawd!

I have experienced this feeling before during brisk walks. It is the most awefulest, irritatingest feeling in the world. Feels like I could scratch my legs to the white meat. I’ve consulted Google about this matter and well, it’s not an unusual occurrence.

Basically:

If you exercise consistently, you have healthy arteries and capillaries that allow for maximum blood passage. If you are unfit, or have not exercised in awhile, then the capillaries can start to collapse. So when you start exercising again, the capillaries basically struggle to open back up which cause the nerves to create an itching sensation. This usually goes away once your body gets used to exercising. (Contributor, caramel825)

This makes sense to me. And when I think back to when I was really consistent with my exercise routine I remember the itching in the beginning but after a couple weeks of consistent exercise, it did disappear.

But let me tell you that today, I wanted to stop at the first sign of the itch. Because the last time it happened, I scratched my legs so much until red streaks appeared. Not cute! But then I remembered reading this blog post yesterday about a woman who just finished running the Chicago marathon. A good ways into the race, she felt soreness in her IT Band and what she did was recognize the pain and then leave it. She said, “…if we dwell on the pain in a race, we won’t get passed it and then we let our mind WIN!” So I acknowledged the itch and I moved on.

It worked!

All in all, I ran/walked about 2 miles today in 30 minutes. I felt great! I stretched afterwards and started my day.

Easy-peasy-bo-breezy.

Let’s just pray it remains this way.

Opinions Are Like...

Her: My co-worker saw your picture and thinks you’re beautiful.

Me: Aww, tell him I said thanks.

Her: But your hair wasn’t natural in that picture.

Me: O_O

Her: I like your hair, it’s…different. What did you do?

Me: Oh, just washed and conditioned and then twirled small pieces around my finger with some gel to make spirals.

Her: Did you cut it? It looks short.

Me: *stretching a coil* It shrinks a lot but yes, I did cut about 3 inches last week.

Her: Well, there’s always weave.

Me: O_O

Him: Your hair is really short

Me: No, it’s not…it’s just appears short because it shrinks a lot

Him: Your hair looks like…I don’t know…it’s an afro.

Me: Pretty much.

Him: Oh, I know! You look like Alicia Keys’ hair in “Secret Life of Bees”

Me: Is that a compliment or an insult

Him: Uhmmm…

Me: O_O

Yeah…

I Love Me!

Even when I find things that are wrong with me, I realize that there are a lot more things that are right. I’m far from perfect but thank God I’m not what I used to be.

Positive affirmations are important and dare I say…necessary. And for someone who used to be really insecure, complimenting yourself can seem selfish and wrong. But do it anyway. Write your affirmations down, say them in your head or shout them out loud. Be your biggest cheerleader and your #1 fan. You can do it, you can be it, and you can live it.

Give yourself a pep talk every day - several times a day, if need be.

Starting Over...the Obligatory Natural Hair Story

Natural hair seems to be all the rage these days. Folks are denouncing perms left and right and regaining “freedom” and “power”.

Hair’s my story.

I stopped perming my hair about 2 years ago in an effort to be all natural. I didn’t document my journey in words and there are few pictures. My decision to go natural was solely because I didn’t want to be bald-headed. Improper perm applications, lack of money to get my hair professionally done regularly and sheer laziness lack of good hair knowledge were taking me down the road to a thinning hair line and broken off, crunchy hair. I’m pretty sure I got on the bandwagon at the beginning of the natural hair wave and boy did I let the world know.

Random Person: You’re hair looks nice!

Note: I transitioned using flexi rod sets to hide the new growth

Me: Oh thanks, I’m going natural! (insert swole up chest with pride >here<)

Question: Did the random person say anything that would even lead me to offer the natural hair journey story? You don't see it? Yeah, me either. Moving right along…

Since there are quite a few nice random people on this earth, the conversation continued as such:

Random Person: Oh really? Interesting. Good luck with that.

Me: Insert conversation about how perms are breaking my hair off…I really want to see my true texture…this is so much healthier for the world me…every time I re-do my hair, I cut a little bit more straight ends off…blah, blah, blah >HERE<

Yeah, I was becoming THAT person. Looking back, I can’t believe: 1) how much I was embarrassing myself, 2) how nice people were to indulge me and 3) how much I was embarrassing myself.

I was knocked got off my high horse pretty quickly because my love for “going natural” was waning because…well…I was going natural and MY nappy natural hair was not THE acceptable natural hair that is portrayed in commercials and print ads.

The more those silky straight ends disappeared and the kinky coils appeared, my confidence began to take a hit and not in a good way. But the easy thing about “going natural” is that you can “go UNnatural”. But before that, I got all the permed ends cut off, got a decent cut and…

Enter: the perm texturizer. I had heard that this practice – texturizing – would “loosen my curl pattern” and give me the coveted “wash-n-go hair” (see above pic). You see, I got tired of the manufactured curl pattern that was achieved by washing, conditioning, detangling, flexi rodding, and sitting at least 1.5 hours under an uncomfortable, hot hair dryer. It would take no less than 4 hours from start to finish once a week to achieve this look. And because it took so long I either had to save the routine for the weekend (which meant I had to sacrifice social activities) or I had to stay up ‘til the wee hours of the morning because I decided to do it on a week night…starting at 9. o_0 Well, the texturizer didn’t work. Just because I refused to fight the power of my naps didn’t mean that my hair didn’t have to continue in the struggle. Wash and go’s didn't work without the help of a couple of VERY expensive products. I know y’all natural ladies know the magic that is Kinky Curly Curling Custard . I loved the results but my bank account didn’t love spending $50 on 2 products to achieve the look, so…

Enter: the ceramic flat iron and my holy grail, the Maxi Glide. I told myself I would only straighten my hair every 4 weeks. And that worked for a while. But I could do so much more when my hair was straightened: pin curls, bantu knots, twist-outs were my styles of choice. See?

Plus the Maxi Glide used the “steam puff technology” to protect the ends. I was still natural, right? Right. But then I came into another problem…

Heat damage and straight ends. Ugh! I don't think the “steam puff technology” was deceptive; methinks I went a little heavy on the straightening and a little light on the hair care in between straightening. It was like battling the permed straight ends again. But this time, there was too much natural hair and not enough straight hair to mask the problem. I had long since given up sitting under that God-awful hair dryer so flexi rods were not an option any more. I vowed not to use heat on my hair for the summer and try to get my straight ends to revert. No dice there. So last Friday, I took the plunge and did what in my mind is a Big Chop. I got about 3-4 inches of hair cut off to reveal all of my naptural, kinky coily goodness. I love it!

Here’s to starting over.

Lost

Long before I ever created a blog I used to write to clear my head. I never thought I was any good but I loved it nonetheless. Writing was cathartic. But it never came easy. Not the entries in my personal journal and definitely not writing assignments for school. Even those quick 500 word essays for school were torture.

Even though I love to write, I lament about it each and every time. In school I wouldn’t put pen to paper until the night before a due date. My procrastination was never due to lack of preparation, most times; it was just always a disconnect between putting what was in my head (which was a perfectly crafted piece) on paper. But I’d manage to sprawl some incoherent words (to me) on paper and pray for a passing grade. Nine times out of ten the paper would return with an “A” with some supporting commentary that what I had written in angst and turmoil was actually good. And I’d re-read what I had written and reluctantly agree.

Since I created this blog, unfortunately, nothing has changed. I thought it would. Creating a blog was supposed to hold me accountable so I could diligently hone my craft. It hasn’t. What this blog has done is place this self-imposed mandate on me to not only
”just write”, but to eloquently string words together that are relevant, fresh, thought provoking, soul-stirring, life-changing, awe-inspiring and witty…all at the same time. Each and every time. And did I mention that the disconnect…is still connected.

I KNOW I have something to say. I’ve exhausted all of the “how to’s” that I’ve read about to try and get past this rut so I can say it. I totally just lied. Forgive me Lord. I haven’t tried them all. And the ones that I have tried, I only tried them my head. But you did just read that part about the self-imposed mandate to be perfect every single time I put hand to keyboard (or pen to paper). It applies here too.

I’m so pathetic.

Help!

What do you do to get passed the rut?

Want a chuckle? My cousin just saw me tapping away on my computer and noticed that I wasn’t on the Internet and asked, “Are you writing a book?” Bwahahaha If only she really knew.

Side Part, Under

I know it’s still the year 2009, but the New Year came early for me. My New Year’s Day came some time around the second week in November.

Over the last few months, I have been uncomfortable with myself. I really can’t put a finger on just how to explain it, but something was not quite right. That nagging feeling, coupled with a very eye-opening incident, left me wondering about myself. So I began to take steps to get to the root of my comfort, or lack thereof, with me. I first started a prayer/self-reflection journal. In it, I deliberately didn’t ask for anything for myself. I petitioned God to move in the lives of those who I felt were affecting me. You see, I tend to carry the burden of others unbeknownst to them. I stress and fret and try to figure out their life’s problems and strategize how I can fix them without them knowing it. Sounds crazy as I type it, but it’s the God’s honest truth. I can’t carry that burden anymore and I needed God to move on their behalf so that I could focus putting me first. That’s so passive-aggressive but…baby steps.

Let me tell you something, journaling is.the.biz-ness! Writing all of my random thoughts coupled with some of my favorite praise and worship songs, ending with my thanks was the remedy for many a RESTFUL sleep-filled, worry-free nights. I felt great, but…

How was I going to start being the star of my own show? Because I realized that if I wasn’t happy and productive – doing what I want to do with my life, then my interactions with the people I love was not going to be “colored sprinkles on top of soft serve vanilla ice cream”. And then…

One afternoon I watched a marathon of The Game and…screech – halt…I saw the “Side Part Under” episode. The scene below, reached out, grabbed me and took a hold of my attention.

Freaky, sessy-time drama aside (because that is not what this post is about) it’s time to live my life! I need to dust off those dreams and move the stuff that’s in my way to attain them. Now I ain’t about to drop my kids off at the nearest police station because I don’t want them no more and move to another state to start my life over, what I’m saying is…

Y’all better get in where you fit in because Lisa is doing what makes her happy not now, but right.now! I’m not starting January 1, 2010, not once the kids are off to college, not once everybody else’s needs (wants) are met first. Some folks ain’t gonna like the brand new me but, oh well.

Are you a side part, under?

Babies-n-Fools

My thoughts are very random. I can look at one thing and it’ll spark a memory from years ago. The other day, the spark was a man and a woman who had apparently witnessed a car accident and was giving their account of the accident. They were getting back in their car that was parked on the shoulder of the road. As the man was approaching the driver side, I held my breath and prayed that he hadn’t locked himself out of his car.

Who thinks like that? Well, I do.

Years ago I went to get my hair done with my baby in tow. I was 19 years old and was determined that I wouldn’t be that teenage mom that dropped her kids off on her parents so that she could continue living her life as if she didn’t have another human to look after. I took my lil’chubs everywhere I went. And if he couldn’t go, that meant I didn’t need to be there.

My friend Kris (shampoo girl, babysitter and godmother) walked out of the salon with me when I was finished. We were all a-chatter talking about whatever 19 year olds talk about – probably gossip. I got to the car, unlocked it and strapped my chubs in his seat and shut the door. I knew what I had done as soon as I had slammed the door shut. I had locked my baby in the car. I must’ve laid my keys on the front passenger seat as I was situating him in his seat. Out of habit I always locked my passenger door after I strapped my baby in because I NEVER wanted anyone to snatch my kid out of my car while walking to the other side. (Not that the distance from passenger to driver was any great length because I drove a F.ord Festiva and I could lay across the front seats stretched like superwoman and my arms and legs would nicely hang out of both doors).

Panic overcame me (what am I going to do)…then fear settled in (my baby is going to burn up in this car). I looked at Kris, hoping she’d magically produce a spare key, but no dice. It was summer, hot, my windows were wound all the way up and my precious little pumpkin was perched (happily, mind you) in his car seat spitting bubbles. Calling a roadside service would mean having to wait and waiting for assistance to arrive was not an option.

I can’t even remember what Kris was doing but I quickly prayed to God to send a miracle because I was at a loss. Before I could say “AMEN” I looked across the parking lot and saw 2 parked police cars with cops in them. PRAYER ANSWERED.

You’d think that I sprinted across the lot yelling hysterically for help, right? WRONG. All I could think was that the cops were going to put me in jail for reckless endangerment of my kid. I didn’t want to risk them thinking I was some flippant teenaged mom. Pride and embarrassment settled in and I stood there and thought long and hard for about 60 seconds before I considered approaching them. My girl Kris was looking at me like ‘you a fool’. And…I was. I had access to immediate assistance to rescue my child from a steaming hot car and I had to think about it. Do me a favor, pause for 60 seconds. Kinda long, ain’t it?

Long story short. I walked over and told the cops my story and begged their assistance. Turns out that this happens more than one would think. They didn’t bat an eye, walked right over and jimmied the lock. I thanked them profusely, got in my car and went home.

You know the saying, “God looks out for babies and fools”? Well, He was looking out for both of us that day.

Have you ever been in need – emotionally, financially or otherwise – and God put the solution right in front of you and all you had to do is ask for the help…and you didn’t ask?

Don’t be no fool! Just ask. Don’t let pride or embarrassment block you from getting your blessing.

With love, Lisa