Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I love the time that we spend together every single day. I really do. But (now listen closely), if you are driving the speed limit – which most of us do because of the volume of folks on the parkway – there is no need to SLAM ON BREAKS WHEN YOU SEE A COP PULLED OVER ON SIDE OF THE ROAD MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS! Cops don’t pull over people who are driving the speed limit. Not unless you have some other VISIBLE thing wrong with your car. And I see you guys everyday…your cars look lovely.
Spoken with love, Lisa
Dear NSA Cop that sits on the side of the road at the NSA exit who doesn’t pull BW Parkway commuters over because he does not have jurisdiction to do so:
Would you mind moving your car up the exit just a few feet so that you are not on the side of the road of the BW Parkway? Pretty please...with whipped cream and a cherry on top? You do realize that commuters see you sitting there AND SLAM ON BREAKS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DOING THE SPEED LIMIT? Because you sit idly where we can see you in plain view, IT CAUSES TRAFFIC SLOW DOWN WHICH CAUSES A TRAFFIC JAM AND ADDS AT LEAST 15 MINUTES TO MY COMMUTE! Did you know that I HATE TRAFFIC!?!?!?
I think you know what you are doing. And honestly, if I knew that the mere sight of my car would cause people to panic unnecessarily and act all weird, I’d probably do that crap too because it is kinda funny. You want us to share in your misery, don't you? I know misery loves company – because you have to be miserable just sitting on the side of the road doing nothing, but I have to get home to get my kids to their 50-11 activities by a certain time. Don’t create fun at my expense. IT’S NOT FUNNY!
Thanks for understanding.
With love and appreciation for the job that you do, Lisa
My thoughts are very random. I can look at one thing and it’ll spark a memory from years ago. The other day, the spark was a man and a woman who had apparently witnessed a car accident and was giving their account of the accident. They were getting back in their car that was parked on the shoulder of the road. As the man was approaching the driver side, I held my breath and prayed that he hadn’t locked himself out of his car.
Who thinks like that? Well, I do.
Years ago I went to get my hair done with my baby in tow. I was 19 years old and was determined that I wouldn’t be that teenage mom that dropped her kids off on her parents so that she could continue living her life as if she didn’t have another human to look after. I took my lil’chubs everywhere I went. And if he couldn’t go, that meant I didn’t need to be there.
My friend Kris (shampoo girl, babysitter and godmother) walked out of the salon with me when I was finished. We were all a-chatter talking about whatever 19 year olds talk about – probably gossip. I got to the car, unlocked it and strapped my chubs in his seat and shut the door. I knew what I had done as soon as I had slammed the door shut. I had locked my baby in the car. I must’ve laid my keys on the front passenger seat as I was situating him in his seat. Out of habit I always locked my passenger door after I strapped my baby in because I NEVER wanted anyone to snatch my kid out of my car while walking to the other side. (Not that the distance from passenger to driver was any great length because I drove a F.ord Festiva and I could lay across the front seats stretched like superwoman and my arms and legs would nicely hang out of both doors).
Panic overcame me (what am I going to do)…then fear settled in (my baby is going to burn up in this car). I looked at Kris, hoping she’d magically produce a spare key, but no dice. It was summer, hot, my windows were wound all the way up and my precious little pumpkin was perched (happily, mind you) in his car seat spitting bubbles. Calling a roadside service would mean having to wait and waiting for assistance to arrive was not an option.
I can’t even remember what Kris was doing but I quickly prayed to God to send a miracle because I was at a loss. Before I could say “AMEN” I looked across the parking lot and saw 2 parked police cars with cops in them. PRAYER ANSWERED.
You’d think that I sprinted across the lot yelling hysterically for help, right? WRONG. All I could think was that the cops were going to put me in jail for reckless endangerment of my kid. I didn’t want to risk them thinking I was some flippant teenaged mom. Pride and embarrassment settled in and I stood there and thought long and hard for about 60 seconds before I considered approaching them. My girl Kris was looking at me like ‘you a fool’. And…I was. I had access to immediate assistance to rescue my child from a steaming hot car and I had to think about it. Do me a favor, pause for 60 seconds. Kinda long, ain’t it?
Long story short. I walked over and told the cops my story and begged their assistance. Turns out that this happens more than one would think. They didn’t bat an eye, walked right over and jimmied the lock. I thanked them profusely, got in my car and went home.
You know the saying, “God looks out for babies and fools”? Well, He was looking out for both of us that day.
Have you ever been in need – emotionally, financially or otherwise – and God put the solution right in front of you and all you had to do is ask for the help…and you didn’t ask?
Don’t be no fool! Just ask. Don’t let pride or embarrassment block you from getting your blessing.
With love, Lisa
Monday, July 13, 2009
Me: Remember when I was little and we'd pass by some cows you'd say that if they were lying down, then it was about to rain.
Mom: Yep, sure do.
Me: Well the other day I saw some cows...they were all standing...and as soon as I passed, it started to pour down rain.
(We both laughed hysterically)
Me: Get this, yesterday I passed by some cows and some of them were lying down and it didn't rain that day.
And do you know what she said?
...Well, it may not have been raining were you were, but it was raining somewhere.
***SILENCE***, then an inward giggle, because I do believe she was dead serious
Nope, moms are never wrong I tell ya.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Bomb parts smuggled into 10 federal buildings during test
From the CNN article (bolded type added by me)...
In a videotape obtained by CNN, a covert GAO inspector places a bag containing bomb components on an X-ray machine conveyor belt and then walks through a magnetometer at an unidentified federal building. Unlike some covert tests that use simulated explosives, the GAO used actual bomb components in the test and publicly available information "to identify a type of device that a terrorist could use" to damage a building. Watch undercover agent smuggle bomb »
"The (improvised explosive device) was made up of two parts -- a liquid explosive and a low-yield detonator -- and included a variety of materials not typically brought into a federal facility by an employee or the public," the report says. Investigators obtained the components at local stores and over the Internet for less than $150, the report says.
And then this...
The GAO also released a photograph of a guard asleep at his post and detailed an instance in which a woman placed an infant in a carrier on an X-ray machine while retrieving identification. Because the guard was not paying attention and the machine's safety features had been disabled, the infant was sent through the X-ray machine, according to the report.
Jesus be a fence...the babies ain't even safe. Who doesn’t notice a baby, in a baby carrier, going through a X-ray machine? Obviously the guard didn’t notice, because he was napping, but what about the parent or the bystanders?
But wait, it gets worser and worser…
The Federal Protective Service (FPS) guard in the baby incident was dismissed but did sue the agency stating that FPS failed to provide X-ray training. And you know what? FPS lost because they couldn't prove the guard wrong.
So let me get this straight. You have an agency that employs guards whose main responsibility is to detect dangerous items by way of an x-ray machine and you don’t train them on the machine?
Sounds like more than one person was sleeping on the job, huh?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I usually take a back road on my way home from work. It cuts out a nice chunk of stop-and-go traffic and provides me with some “download” time. On that road you’ll always find cows grazing in a field. And every time I pass those cows I always check them out to see if it’s going to rain that evening.
I grew up in a little town in southern P.G. Co, MD that many call the country. I guess it kind of is seeing as how there are no stop lights, no major retail stores and no fast food restaurants within a 10 mile radius from the heart of town. If that isn’t proof enough that it’s the country, there is a small country store that many of the locals frequent. In that little store there is a deli counter were you could once get a pound of homemade link sausages for breakfast, a pound of bologna & cheese to make sandwiches for lunch, a couple of thickly cut steaks for dinner, and a double scoop of butter brickle ice cream for dessert. Great memories.
But I digress.
My mom always traveled the back roads to get where she needed to go. I don’t know if it was because she loved the scenic route or if she had highway-a-phobia. But if we needed to get there, she was going through a maze of country roads that was going to land her on the highway the closest to her destination. Used to drive me bananas. And I vowed to myself that when I started to drive, I’d only take major roads and highways. My only exception is if it’d save me time from sitting in traffic – I don’t care if the speed limit is 25mph, as long as I’m in constant motion, I’m happy. I HATE sitting in traffic.
It was on these back roads that we’d pass the fields that had the cows. More often than not, the cows would be standing and grazing. But about 10% of the time, they’d be lying down. And every single time we’d pass a field with cows lying down, my mom would say, “It’s gonna rain today”.
A classic old wives tale - if cows are lying down, rain is soon to come. I never once questioned her theory and had usually forgotten about her prediction before we’d even reached our destination. So if it did or didn’t rain, I really don’t recall.
Last week while taking my back road home, I approached that field of cows as I’ve done dozens of times before. They were all standing and grazing; good, no rain tonight. But this day, the moment I passed them, it started pouring rain – cats, dogs and little people – as my aunt says. I had to laugh out loud at the timing of it all.
Either Mom’s theory is dead wrong or those cows didn’t get the memo. I’ll believe the latter because moms are never wrong.
What old wives tale do you recall or believe?
With love, Lisa
Friday, July 3, 2009
No big deal, right? WRONG!
You see, I discovered my love for writing 3+ years ago and I have a couple of notebooks and a flash drive to prove it. I’m no expert, but I'vebeen told by a real writer, that I’m actually pretty good. In his words, “I have ‘a natural voice’”. Okay, whatever…
I have tons of stories to tell – some are opinions on stuff that makes the news; some are of the introspective, insightful, deep thought variety; and some stuff is based on the reality that is my life. Since I have this “natural voice”, I should be spitting out blog posts quicker than the Duggars can spit out a kid. Right? Wrong again.
So what was that 3 months about? I thought about it last night and I can only sum it up in four letters: F-E-A-R. That devil called fear has been sitting on both my shoulders, dressed in red suits, yapping negativity in my ear ever since March 25.
Fear Devil #1: What do you mean you want to blog? There about 50-11hundred blogs on the Internets?
Me: Yeah and I love a lot of them. They make me think, laugh, cry, smile…
Fear Devil #2: Exactly! What makes you think you can invoke that type of emotion out of your readers…if you get any readers? Plus, you don’t have that much to write about.
Me: Well um-er-uh, didn’t you read my “About Me” section? It says that this blog is more for me than it is for you. So, your point is?
Fear Devil #1: My point is, just like in relationships, that’s a lame excuse.
Me: But it IS true, I just want a place to put my thoughts. I’ll tell folks about it and if they read it…cool! If not…cool?
I was defeated on March 26, 2009. I couldn't get that conversation out of my head. I started second guessing myself day by day, even though a lot of stuff happened that I could've written about. Days turned to weeks and well, you know how it goes.
But there was something inside of me that kept nudging my spirit. Something that wouldn't allow me to delete the blog altogether. Something that would make me set a date to start again, even though that date has passed many times over.
The spirit of power (read: confidence) resides in me and it had a breakthrough. I ain't scared no mo’! Fear is real (just like I believe the devil is real), but it didn't come from God, because he only gives good and perfect gifts. And I sure as heck don’t have to succumb to it.
So like my first post said way back in March; you can like this blog, love it, or leave it. It doesn't matter to me.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Tim 1:7
Don’t Be Scared!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Picture it: Maryland, 295 South, January 2009 – post Obama inauguration…
I’m riding home from work, minding my own business, and I come upon something that makes you go, 'Hmmh. I see the back of an American-made SUV with bumper stickers plastered on the back. Nothing unusual. Two bumper stickers said, ‘McCain/Palin 2008’; one said, ‘NoBama’; one said ‘Obama is not THE ONE…Vote McCain’; and the last one, a magnetic ribbon that said, ‘We Support Our Troops’. All stickers fashioned in the patriotic colors of red, white and blue. The last thing I saw - a little American eagle affixed to the tip of the antennae.
My immediate thought…rednecks. I sped up a little to see who really was in this truck. It was a man and woman, both white, both looked to be in their 60’s, and both looked to be rural types. I could tell they were rural types, the man had on a flannel shirt. My thought went from redneck to racist. Republican bumper stickers…an American eagle…two older white, rural looking people = racist.
Really? I put all of those images together – which singularly amount to nothing - and figured that these 2 people didn't like me (a black person)…they don’t like Hispanics…they don’t like Jews…and they certainly don’t like gays or lesbians – you know, “the queers”. I couldn't see it, but I’m sure that there was a hunting vest and a NRA membership card somewhere in the vicinity.
Why did I let my mind go that far?
I pride myself in being the one to NOT stereotype. I’m the mom that teaches her children that Oriental is a oodles of noodles flavor and all Mexicans don’t mow lawns for a living. I’m the “We Are the World” chick that believes not all white people hate black people, not all urban-dressing black men with saggy jeans are going to rob you and not all Goth-looking white kids with black trench coats and make-up are going to wander into school and shoot up the joint. So why did I judge these people who were minding their business driving down 295 south. I've never talked to them, never interacted with them, never gave them the opportunity to prove me wrong…or right.
Extremists + The Media + An Information Junkie = One "We Are the World" Chick, driving down 295 south judging folks.
It got out of hand this past presidential election. They almost had me, but I got away.
Did the media get a hold of you during the election?
With love, Lisa
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
First thing's first… This blog ain't about love - I’m no relationship expert. I, like everyone else in this world, have an opionion and I'd like to voice it from time to time on any number of subjects right here in this space. Feel free to agree or disagree, doesn't matter to me. Like it, love it, leave it - it's all up to you.
Next thing's next… I am NOT tech savvy in the way that I’ll know how to do the basic blogosphere stuff. Social networking is nearly (but not entirely) lost on me. I have a F.acebook page, but rarely use it; I’m too busy trying to live my very best first life and the only Second.Life I'm trying to attain is the one that comes after death - Heaven. I’m not a social bird so I don’t “tweet” on T.witter. I’m pretty well connected, but not Linked.In. Don't get me wrong, I admire folks who can maneuver all those sites with ease, but I’m just not there. Not just yet. I may never be.
Third thing's third... If you have constructive comments or feedback - some knowledge you'd like to drop in MY space - I’ll listen intently. But be warned: I.don’t.do.negativity!...EVER! So if you have something negative to say, please shape it in the form of constructive criticism. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. Please and thank you.
Last thing's last (for now, at least)… I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. In the words of Chef Duff of Charm City Cakes, “You may say ‘Wow, that [writing] sucks’…but at least you’ll say wow.'”